Retun of the Daze

If i was given a flesh light i would fuck the shit out of it... -Young G-ferd

Craigslist...

So after a fun little road trip,Ii find myself in Utah, land of great shredding and crazy people. This craigslist post pretty much sums it up for the crazy people. Personally i was a bit offended by this and that's saying something.
http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/adg/1539574258.html

Films in general

Its been a while, that said the results of the last poll have been in for a while, and apparently out of the four Billy Madison was apparently the worst film, just a bit disappointing. Now i can completely understand that Happy Gilmore won but the fact that "any lord of the rings film" got more votes then Billy Madison makes me wanna punch someone. Originally I would have rambled about this for another few paragraphs until I came across a trailer for a Karate kid remake coming out this spring starring Will Smiths kid and Jackie Chan, WTFNF!!!!(what the fuckin fuck) Hollywoods been making some real shitty shit lately, i.e. Transformers, G.I. Joe, as well as other adaptations and remakes that hardly reference the original material, which usually was light years more entertaining, but this frankly takes the cake!!! Jackie Chan's character isn't even called Mr. Miyagi!!! Here's the trailer make up your own mind...

Fluff

The great debate on many levels for years has been about fluff. Is it good? Is it white trash? Is it a condiment? What is it?
For years now I have stood by the notion that Fluff is white trash. Fluff is melted down marshmallow that you spread on bread. That right there is just white trashly awesome. On top of that people then use the fluff jars to drink out of and store things......Also great and white trash. Some of you right now are probably thinking hey! I eat fluff and I am not white trash. To answer that I myself am technically not white trash and I love fluff. Liking something white trash does not make you white trash. There is just no way that spreadable marshmallow is not white trash.

Fluff is not just a condiment. It is its own food group. You can place it right on top of the food group pyramid. What is Fluff made from?

Marshmallow Fluff contains Corn Syrup, Sugar Syrup, Dried Egg Whites and Vanillin.

Strawberry Fluff contains Corn Syrup, Sugar Syrup, Dried Egg Whites, Artificial Flavor, Red 40, Carmel Color.

Raspberry Fluff contains Corn Syrup, Sugar Syrup, Dried Egg Whites, Artificial Flavor, Red 3, Red 40, Blue 1.

There are no artificial preservatives, stabilizers or emulsifiers in any of our products. Where do I sign up for the fluff diet???????? I mean with all this nutrition who wouldn't want in on this.

Ah, Fluffernutters... there are many who say you haven't really lived until you've taken a bite out of one of these distinctly American treats!

Long a staple of playgrounds, after-school snacks, college dorms, and the local diner, a Fluffernutter is a wonderful concoction of Marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter in a delightfully tasty sandwich!

The above is a picture and quote from the fluff website................It pretty much fully backs up my feelings on fluff. It doesn't deny any of the allegations about it. It embraces them. They basically are saying that fluff is a tasty desert mayonnaise.

Now I am posting a few fluff commercials to help prove my point.





So as you can see fluff is easy to spread.... gets white all over you face....... Makes you athletic and scholastically capable, and much more.

My final question is.......... Who doesn't want a fluff skateboard?

So as you can all see fluff is a delish white trash treat, that is fun for all ages and types. It is a gum smacking good time. Get your fluff today!

p.s I do not condone the squeeze container in the first commercial. It is UN-American to have fluff not be in its original container. FACT

Unfortunatly placed weight

This post is not for the faint of hearts. Have you ever walked down the street and seen what may be a normal looking person and then go WOAH! And the WOAH was caused by the large mound of unfortunately placed weight between their stomach and crotch. And you may have not noticed it but the person as always is wearing sweat pants. Well this is something I unfortunately come across to often. And there is a name for such a thing and it applies to both men and women. That word is FUPA. For a woman that is FAT UPPER PUSSY AREA and for a man FAT UPPER PENIS AREA. A fat gut is not a fupa, there is a difference. a fupa is in its own area and it really needs to be taken care of and is easily avoidable with normal life styles. This all being said I need to tell you of the greatest FUPA of them all.
I was at the Christmas Tree Shop several years ago with some friends. We were just walking around having a grand ol time near the back of the store. Then all of a sudden something catches my eye, but is quickly hidden by a table. Next thing I see you will have to take my word for. The worlds biggest FUPA (or at least the biggest ive seen). This lady was not by any means fat other than this FUPA. But this thing was harnessed by some purple sweats and went from about her waist all the way to just above her knees. The worst part of it was that her body was eating the sweats because you could see about a 6 inch wide indent in the sweats going from the top of the FUPA to just above her knees. If I didnt have such a strong stomach I may have threw up on a garden gnome or whatever Christmas Tree Store treasure was near me.

The point of this story and post is to raise awarness about FUPAs. They are out there and they need to stop. So please if you have a FUPA or if you come across one. Help the person loose this FUPA so there way of life along with ours can be better

Thanks

Misconception of Wealth

Has anyone ever niticed how sooo many people, white trash in particular, have such a gross misconception of wealth and more specifically what is valuable and why. After growing up in the woods of Vermont and spending the last 5 years in northwestern Maine, I have seen this proven soo many times on sooo many levels. I first encountered this as a child, when like most kids i wa sgetting into collectable trading cards. Now by no means were we like out parents, putting ted williams cards in the spokes of out bikes to make them sound cooler, thats just painful to think about. Most of me and my freinds however held on to them and swapped then back and fourth like small market general managers do today. However I had one freind who didnt do this. He was my only freind who lived in a trailer and his parents would not let him open his baseball card packs. now dont get me wrong I realize that unopened packs or cards do gain some value down the road, but that was not their reasoning, they seemed to think that all the cards lost all of their value the second that foil packaging was opened. Note they also had a massive TV and the best cable package money could buy. This was my first encounter with this misconception of value/wealth. I could never understand why these people who lived in a trailer and wouldnt even let their son enjoy baseball cards somehow had a killer TV and cable package. Fast foward a few years I have another freind living in a similar situation whos parents would spend hundreds of dollars on Beanie Babies every month, ya, Beanie Babies, remember those things? Anyway me being kind of a smart kid one time asked them why they didnt sell them? this was around the peak of the fad when some were worth a coupple hundred bucks a piece on ebay. I was abruptly told that, that would be stupid that since at the rate they had been gaining value their collection would be worth hundreds of thousands in ten years... Nuff said. My final and most recent major encounter was when I worked at an major chain resturant with an Italian theme. One of my co-workers, who will go unnamed, had, not only 98' Cavilier with speakers worth more then the car, and a "top of the line mongouse mountain bike" but "a PS2 game collection worth id think a coupple thousand". That was the kicker, not only did the guy care more about how loud his speakers were, then the actual insurance he had on his car, which there wasnt, but he seemed to think his 300 + PS2 games were worth the same as when he bought them!! Why is it that white trash generally has such a gross misconception of appreciation depreciation and just money in general. Now these arent things you need to take an economisc class to understand this is pretty baisc shit. So why, why, are there soooo many people who don't seem to get it? I though tof this today when I saw hundreds of people loading expensive electronics into beater cars and ancient minivans while driving past best buy today. If you can laugh at this article it means you get it and have a lot to be thankful for.

Odd guy or what?!

So I have been debating about writing a post about a dude in my class for some time. Today it became clear to me that it is my duty to all you folk to do so. I should have known from the time he said if astronauts don't use our math then why should I be doing it that this young man was one of a kind. I do not know a whole lot about this guy. I do know some how he is in some form of our armed services, and can carry a gun when doing so. I also know that he will just talk all class about whatever pops into his head. This led another dude in my class to tell him in front of everyone that he is unstable, and that he should not be allowed to have a gun. He retaliated by calling him hippie child from then on.
Today was the most amusing class day yet. He started out by telling us and the teacher that he just watched the star was family guy with his 8 year old cousin. He told us that his cousin read all the words in the beginning. Our teacher was like well I suppose that is OK as long as he doesn't repeat them. apparently in these words it talks about Angelina Jolie and how is naked in Gilie the movie. So the young man tells the teacher that he is allowed to go rent Gilie to see Angelina naked for 40 minutes as long as the 8 year old isn't around. The teacher just lets out a fake chuckle. This is a woman teacher BTW. Then the dude proceeds to say that Angelina is Hot in a milf sort of way, and that " he wishes that he was her son so he could suck on her breasts". No one responded to that, although I was laughing rather hard inside. Then he went on to say that he bets her son goes to school and hears kids talking about his mom and brags that he got to suck on her titties. At this point in the class I was not getting any math done whatsoever.
Just when I thought he was done ranting for the day, his star wars ring tone went off and he picked it up in class to talk to his drill Sargent. Once he hung up the phone with him he proceed to play UN edited Still D.R.E by Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg. And if that wasn't enough he then played a south park quote by cartman that said Fuck at least five times. After that was played he got up and left for the day.

Now I don't know what to think of this dude. Most of the time he annoys the hell out of me. But there are those times he is amusing. I must agree with "hippie child" that he is to unstable to be carrying a gun at all. I would like to think that this 19 year old man just wants some sort of attention. But I am leaning towards believing that he is a few fries short of a happy meal.

p.s I give my teacher props for not ever getting mad at this dude. Its rather impressive. Ive been tempted to tell him to shut the fuck up many times, and he just interrupts constantly, so props to her.


Tell me what you think about this. I am still undecided.